Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I love the Capucine hat... I totally adore it. I've knitted it twice.

Apparently, I Am A Carpet

...and I need to stop.

I need to speak up when I feel like I am being taken for granted, and ask others to pick up the slack when I feel like I am the only person pulling my weight.

Monday, October 24, 2011

I'm An Enigma, Wrapped In An Enigma, Wrapped In Yet Another Enigma

Apparently, the first four words you see describe you...

I got Dramatic, Naive, Secure, and Thoughtful. Which is kind of a bizarre mix?

This Week!

Okay, I have a tonne of crap on my plate this week... Let's see. I'll make a list and at the end of the week, we can see how much I suck.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Stars In My Eyes, Knitting On My Needles

I feel sad again. But when don't I these days? I am sorry to be such a downer.

I'm knitting a little capelet for my halloween costume (I'm going as a porcelain doll). I bought huge bulky yarn to make it. That's exciting.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Someimes, I Feel Like a Crazy Person

I seriously do not know what to do about my brain or my heart sometimes.

I need to get over this whole situation. If I don't, I'm going to lose my best friend. I can't keep going on like this, because it will damage what is left of our relationship - the friendship part. He's not going to want to be around me at all if I keep going on like this.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

It Doesn't Stop Hurting, I Am Learning

I live with my ex.

This can be really hard. He's dating (I've tried; I'm not good at it, and I'm really not that interested in anybody else, even still) and that can be really heartbreaking when he brings a girl home.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Occupy Halifax

Halifax's Occupy protest is today. I'll be there with bells on (that's a good possibility, actually) and will be offering myself in solidarity with the other 99% struggling to survive.

Together, we can make a change.

Wooden Bird

Thursday, October 13, 2011

My (knitting) Life Just Got Awesome

So, this summer, I stumbled across Vogue Knitting's Stichionary books in the library. (I love making links.)

Anyway, I immediately fell into what I call knitter's lust. That's when you find a pattern, or yarn, or book, or something related to knitting and all you want to do is stroke it and fondle it and brush your needles up against it and imagine all the possibilities you could explore with it while snuggled under your blankets, Enya playing softly in the background, cup of ginger and peach tea steaming on the windowsill next to you...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Surprised By Mrs. Darcy

Absolutely ages ago, I put the Mrs. Darcy Cardigan in my que on Ravelry and then left it there with lofty hopes of someday taking the plunge into actual garments.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Something's Gotta Give (And It Can't Be Us)

I fully support the Occupy [________] movement, and I really want to see it create change in our societies. Canada needs the overhaul almost as much the States does. This is an important movement, and it needs to happen.

I'm worried though. Something's gotta give at some point, and if the movement is to make a difference, it can't be us. We've got to stick it out. Because if we quit while we're ahead, we'll screw ourselves over. They'll take it as proof that we're just a bunch of lazy hippies, and look, we got bored and are going back to our lives as lazy hippies.

Don't do it! Don't let them win! We're wearing them down, we're making our point, we CAN make a difference if we just stand our ground!

The Occupy Halifax stuff is in its planning stages right now, and as soon as that gets under way I'll be there with bells on, too. I wish I could be supporting with physical presence already, but I don't have the means for travel. So I'm waiting for it to come here, and it is on its way.

I know we can do it. We can create change, we can demand better for ourselves and our communities and our futures. We deserve it - but we won't get it if we dissipate now. We can't let it go until they give in. It's a tug of war at this point, and we have to keep tugging it (hah).

I'm so proud of everyone who's fighting for this. You have all my support. I'll be with you on the front lines soon.

Truth, Love, Beauty, and Equality. We deserve all of it. We can reclaim it.

Wooden Bird


Monday, October 10, 2011


We had our Thanksgiving potluck last night; we know a bunch of people (ourselves included) who can't make it home or don't have anybody to spend Thanksgiving with, so we had a potluck for all of us outcasts.

It went off really well! Lots of good food, good company, and everyone seemed to have a good time and enjoy themselves.

I tend to celebrate Thanksgiving as an excuse to have a feast with friends - not because I support its origins. I'm not a fan of walking into somebody else's house and telling them I live there now and they have to play by my rules, and that's basically where Thanksgiving comes from, except on a continental scale (literally).

So, keep in mind when you're sharing your time with friends and family this Thanksgiving the true history behind it. Don't let it ruin your time with your loved ones; any excuse to be communal is a good excuse, but don't let the truth fade away and mean nothing. Recognizing it is important.

Happy feasting, folks!

Wooden Bird

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Sweater (But More Than Just That)

I've begun knitting a sweater for my ex for Christmas. If I finish it by his birthday, it will be his birthday present, but I doubt I'll get it done in time.

The blue is so much nicer in real life.

He's really excited; he helped pick the colours, and he picked the pattern. He can't wait for it to be finished and I know he'll appreciate it and that's why I'm knitting it for him.

Or at least, that's part of why I am knitting it for him. Part of me is treating the whole thing like a giant spell worked from knot magic. Which, to me, makes sense since knitting is basically just knotting together yarn. Sort of. Crochet is more like knots, but in any case. Each stitch is a singular thing that is part of the whole.

Anyway. I feel like if I imbue this sweater with enough of myself, each stitch a wish for our future, for getting back together. Each stitch composed not just of yarn, but of love and hope and how much I miss him...

We got pretty drunk last night, and I asked him, if he would consider getting back together, especially since I've changed a lot since we broke up, and things just seem to be going so well with us now. We never fight, we get along great as friends, we enjoy each other's company, we both still find each other attractive.... but he said No. He said he would have to fall madly in love with me again, just to consider it. Because of how hurt he was by the situation leading up to our breakup. Because of how much I hurt him.

So... maybe, just maybe, I can show him. With this sweater, with patience, with hope and quiet background love, and showing him how I've changed, and that I am someone he could be with. Maybe he'll fall in love with me again. Maybe he'll remember his old feelings, or new feelings for me will be born. I don't know. I just hope that this sweater might sway him. That when he wears it, he'll think of me, and how much I care about him, and maybe he'll consider giving me another chance.

Instead of the flat out No I got last night. Suffice it to say, I cried. I miss him terribly, and have never regretted anything as much as I regret my actions leading up to his breaking up with me. I really do hope things work out. I've never wanted anything this badly. I've never loved anyone this much.

Wooden Bird

Friday, October 7, 2011

Things to Consider Before Getting Pets

Most of these can apply to babies, as well, so this is like two posts in one...

I am going to preface this by saying I am not a dirty person. I maybe don't tidy as often as I should, but I'm not dirty. Even with regular cleaning, the following things happen when you have pets (or babies), because shit happens while you're at work and school, and you can't spend your whole life cleaning. This is the main issue. If you relaly can't stand the following issues, then you really shouldn't have a pet.

  • Poop. Does the idea of handling another being's poop gross you out? Don't get a pet. Or a baby.
  • Nice things. Do you like having them? Don't get a pet, they will just knock them over and then hide from you behind the couch so you can't even punish them. Babies are expensive enough that you won't be able to afford nice things.
  • A fresh smelling house. Do you want one? Don't get a pet. Your house will smell like whatever animal you have, litter (which, no matter how often you clean, will from time to time smell like poop, particularly right after they do so), bedding for small rodents (and wet bedding when you're inbetween cleaning). This one doesn't really apply to babies, especially if you regularly coat them in baby powder. But they can smell like poop sometimes.
  • A clean/tidy house. Same problem as above. Fur everywhere (rugs, carpets, furniture...). Toys everywhere. Things knocked over. Clawed furniture. Pet food scattered all around the food bowl. Litter tracked the bathroom/litter area. For babies, it's pretty much just toys and stuff everywhere.
  • Clean clothes! You will forever be covered in fur. Especially if you have cats. Get used to being that person. I hope this isn't an issue with babies, honestly...
  • The appendages of a self-mutilating emokid. This mostly applies to cats or rodents. Maybe birds (I haven't had a bird so I don't know). They will attack you when you least expect it, and their claws and teeth are effing sharp. You will be constantly covered in little red scrithy marks. They hurt. Baby teeth hurt, too!
  • Unfaltering companionship, love, and cuddles almost anytime you want them. If you like those things, then you definitely should get a pet. It really does make up for all the other stuff...
Wooden Bird 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Occupation, Baby

Just in case you have no clue what is going on with this whole Occupy Wall Street movement, and it's branch off movements, here is a rundown.

From CNN's Douglas Rushkoff - "Think Occupy Wall St. is a phase? You don't get it"

In fact, we are witnessing America's first true Internet-era movement, which -- unlike civil rights protests, labor marches, or even the Obama campaign -- does not take its cue from a charismatic leader, express itself in bumper-sticker-length goals and understand itself as having a particular endpoint.
Yes, there are a wide array of complaints, demands, and goals from the Wall Street protesters: the collapsing environment, labor standards, housing policy, government corruption, World Bank lending practices, unemployment, increasing wealth disparity and so on. Different people have been affected by different aspects of the same system -- and they believe they are symptoms of the same core problem.

 The Wikepedia article states that:
The participants of the event are mainly protesting against social and economic inequality, corporate greed, and the influence of corporate money and lobbyists on government, among other concerns. Adbusters states that, "Beginning from one simple demand – a presidential commission to separate money from politics – we start setting the agenda for a new America." The protest's organizers hope that the protesters themselves will formulate their own specific demands, expecting them to be focused on "taking to task the people who perpetrated the economic meltdown."

By October 1, similar demonstrations had been held in Washington, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, Miami, Portland, Maine, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, and Denver
And honestly, that pretty much sums it up... What do I think of the whole thing? I'm an anti-capitalist at heart, to tell you the truth. I'm a libertarian socialist (look it up) who thinks it's time to dismantle the industrial capitalist machine. I'm for small-scale communal living and sustainable production.

Yes, I blog. Yes, I use Facebook. Yes, I use Twitter and send text messages and bought my computer from a big box store. But, you know what? I'm using the tools of the enemy to take the enemy down. The enemy is corporate greed and political dishonesty. If I could sequester myself on some piece of land with others who think like myself, and a garden, and some livestock, well, that would be awesome. I'd love to live off the grid and not pander to the broken system we have in place.

And maybe I could, but it wouldn't be right, not now. There are too many people being harmed by the system right now, who don't have a way out, for a multitude of reasons. So I play the game, because it means I might help them, by taking the game out from the inside.

This is my Straylight Run.

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Coffee. It's a slippery slope.

I started drinking coffee when I met my ex. It was a good excuse to justify "randomly" bumping into him at the library coffee kiosk.*

When I started drinking coffee, I didn't really like the taste of it, so I would load it up with sugar and cream (18%M.F. motherfuckers. Only way to be; none of this skim crap). (Sorry. I'm normally not that verbally violent. I'm just really passionate about milk fat percentages). Anyway. I would do that.

But over time, I developed a taste for coffee, and even started to be able to discern between "good" and "bad" coffee. For instance:

Tim Horton's coffee: Don't do it. Just drink the hot chocolate. You'll be happier.
Anything that isn't Tim Horton's coffee: Probably a lot better than Tim Horton's coffee (except maybe fast food coffee? Like at McDonald's? You probably don't want to drink that either.)

Right, so I started drinking coffee to better stalk a boy, and then I actually just started drinking coffee for the sake of drinking coffee.

Now, I have a bit of a coffee dependancy. I mean, I can go about my day without drinking coffee even once, and I do it a couple times a week - I just won't have time in the morning to make it or won't think of it (that's how you know it's just a mild dependancy) or whatever, and I'm usually too cheap/broke/self-righteous to buy coffee, etc.

So, no headaches or anything, but by the end of the day I'll be wondering why the hell I was so tired all day, and then it will hit me. Ohhhhh... I forgot to drink my coffee this morning.

I try not to drink coffee past mid-afternoon. We'll make a pot in the french press in the morning (one large mug each plus a bit, or two small cups each) and maaaybe another around lunchtime if we're home. But after that I try to switch to tea. Partially because I don't want to develop a stronger dependancy (my ex was getting migraines for a while when he didn't drink coffee, so we started cutting down then) and partially because I'm trying to train myself to get into a better sleep-wake schedule, and I figure if I switch to tea midafternoon, I'll be more likely to be asleep by 12am so I can getup for 6.30am without feeling like a total zombie.

I'm not sure what the point of this post was, so I'll just make up a moral.

The moral of the story is that if you start drinking coffee to stalk a boy, it will become a central part of your life, and you better get used to paying upwards of 15$ for decent coffee or get used to a lifetime of the gutrot that comes along with shitty coffee.

Wooden Bird

*My university's main library has an atrium that extends the height of the building. The stacks are located on the upper floors against the outer four walls of the building and there is open studying space (tables and chairs, outlets) in the hallways that surround the hole in the centre of the building that the atrium creates. The walls here are made of glass, so you can look down from your desk and see the people downstairs in the main floor atrium. You can see the coffee kiosk, the deli kiosk, etc. So, I would camp out on the second floor, where I could get a good view of the Second Cup, and I would wait until I saw my ex show up in line for coffee, and then I would run down to get a coffee and "bump into him". It worked well enough, all things considered...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My Cats are Freaking WEIRD...

Warning, this post talks about cat poop, cat pee, and the handling of such offensive materials. If that grosses you out, well... go somewhere else?

So, my cats love watching me clean the litterbox. They are just utterly fascinated by it... they just watch with this look on their faces asking "WHERE DID ALL THE POOP GO YOU ARE MAGIC?!"

Anyways. So I was cleaning the litterbox today... and as soon as I get all the old gross stuff into the garbage bag, and some fresh litter into the pan, Freddie is super excited and hops in and pees... Okay, that's fairly normal.

But Karl... Karl made it weird...

He watched her very intently while she peed, and then when she finished and turned around to start covering it up, he began to help her. He started pawing at the litter and trying to cover it up, too.

A) There isn't a lot of space between the toilet and the vanity, which is where the litterbox is. One cat takes up plenty of room, so this was an awkward dance of two cats trying to copver up one little pee in a tight space.

B) WTF, Karl?! Are you really that weird?

I adopted freak cats. Go figure.

Wooden Bird

Monday, October 3, 2011

Bra-ptions (Get it? Bra... options... bra-ptions)

Sometimes, I do not wear a bra. And I don't mean that sometimes, when I am vegging out at home, I don't wear a bra. I mean sometimes I decide I don't want to wear a bra and then I go to classes and work and people stare at my nipples. But that's cool. I totally own it.

And sometimes, I definitely do wear a bra.

Here are some reasons that I choose to wear or not wear a bra.

  • If it's really hot and muggy, I'll probably wear a bra, because underboob sweat is worse when they're just hanging there (at least at my cup size. If I was an A or a small B, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue... but as a large C, there's a lot of "underboob").
  • If it's kinda hot but not that sticky out, I probably won't wear a bra, because it's one less layer of clothing to make me uncomfortably warm.
  • If I'm going for a bike ride, sometimes I won't wear a bra, and then I'll regret it and wish I had, especially if the path I'm taking is particularly bumpy.
  • If I know I'm going to be dealing with old men all day, I'll wear a bra.
  • If I'm just hanging out on campus all day, fuck the bra.
  • If I'm going out dancing or something, I'll wear a bra because a) the excessive bouncing and movement hurts when there's this much boob, and b) drunk me is not likely to notice if I pop out of my shirt, and having a bra on is one more way to ensure that my areolas don't go galavanting around town
  • There are some shirts I have that just look bad if I don't wear a bra, so when I wear them, I wear a bra. (But, I have been known to wear white shirts without a bra, and low cut shirts without a bra.)

I guess I just really don't care about people seeing my boobs. I'm a semi-nudist at home already, and I'm kind of a hippie and think people should feel more comfortable about their bodies. So, I try to actually take that and apply it to myself, and I generally am pretty comfortable with my body. Also, I have a bit of exhibitionist in me and I get a kick out of seeing people's eyes widen when they spot my nipples through my shirt.

I am a horrible person, and now you know way too much about my bra wearing habits!

You're welcome,

Wooden Bird

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Hey Look At That!

I just noticed I actually have a couple of people following my blog! That's pretty awesome. Hi Glenn and √Člune!

Wooden Bird 

Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

Sexy, right?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Dating. It's kind of lame.

Every awkward date I go on just serves to remind me how things were never awkward with my ex.

When we started hanging out, he was just so confident and I felt so able to just be me. I felt totally at ease with him as soon as I met him. I just knew that everything was right. I always felt that way with him. He still makes me feel that way when we hang out, he just has that way.

It really just makes me miss him even more than usual. I think this is why I've stuck to seeing girls. I can't compare them to him because it's just different to begin with.

I don't know. This whole dating thing is kind of lame. I just want my life back, where everything was going right and I had a future with my best friend.

I still wake up sometimes and forget. And then I remember and hope for a second that it was just a bad dream...

But it never is.

Wooden Bird