Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Apparently, I Am A Carpet

...and I need to stop.

I need to speak up when I feel like I am being taken for granted, and ask others to pick up the slack when I feel like I am the only person pulling my weight.

I need to stop letting other people, who may or may not even be doing it intentionally, manipulate me into feeling bad, or like I have to save the day. I'm not saying everyone I know is a horrible person who is trying to use me. What I'm saying is I think there's this idea that "Wooden Bird doesn't like it when people feel bad/she doesn't want to hurt people's feelings/she just wants people to be happy" that people just leave things to me to fix because I'll feel obligated to fix them if nobody else does it. Because I want things to run smoothly, and I want the people I care about to be happy.

Well, I have to recognize that not only can I not make everyone happy, it's NOT EVEN MY JOB. I know, right? Why is that so hard for me to recognize.

I feel exhausted, and pulled in a million directions these days. I can't take care of everyone else when I can barely take care of myself.

So, I don't know. I need to stop just swooping in and taking care of everything, and maybe ask others to take care of me, too. I need to start focusing more on taking care of myself, and less on fixing everybody else's problems.

Caring about other people doesn't mean I have to put myself last on the list.

And caring about myself doesn't mean I have to be selfish or unkind or unhelpful. But it means recognizing the limits to my abilities, and being able to prioritize, and recognizing that it is okay sometimes to prioritize me over someone else.

Wooden Bird

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