Saturday, June 23, 2012

Housekeeping

Hi folks!

Just a couple things here...

Firstly, I uploaded two new videos of my crappy teenage poetry to my youtube channel.

Secondly, I've starte a new blog, and I'm going to retire this one! I feel like it's time, with everything that is happening and changing in my life, for me to start a new blog, too.

The new blog is Felted Nest, and if you've been following me here and want to continue to find out what the haps are, update your links and stuff! I also have a new twitter account that is my name, so that seems a little more appropriate, with the stagnation of the etsy shop and all...

Anyway, this is basically my sign off post from this blog, but not the Internet.  I am going to be over at Felted Nest from now on, and I expect to be uploading stupid YouTube videos semi-regularly as well for the forseeable future, so if you found that last one amusing, be sure to check those out, too. :)

<3
Wooden Bird


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Dramatic Readings of My Shitty Teenage Poetry

SO.

Because I am ridiculous, I decided to do this:

(There is a ridiculous video behind the jump. It was screwing up the blog layout, and I didn't want it to do that, so I put it behind a jump. Deal with it)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Review: Flesh And Gold


Flesh And Gold
Flesh And Gold by Phyllis Gotlieb

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



I abandoned it. I am loving her writing style, but the story is simply not gripping me.

I really wanted to like this book because Gotlieb is a Canadian author and I really try to get as much CanCon as possible in my life. But, this just ain't cutting it.

In other news, I'm going to start Stranger in a Strange Land tonight, hopefully that one will go better!



View all my reviews

Taking Stock

So, every year, I sort of take stock of my life.  I do this by comparing my life to my mother's when she was my age.  If you know my mother, this might seem a little dramatic, but it makes me feel better about my life!

For example, I could look at my life and say...

"Wow. I'm under-employed; I can only just afford to pay my rent and groceries, but I still spend too much on booze; I waste more time than I care to admit on facebook or asleep; my personal relationships are all over the place; I eat more than my grocery bill can afford or my lack of exercise can maintain (where the hell did these most recent 5lb come from godsdamnit?) and I post way too many pictures of my cats on Twitter."

Which, you know.  Is pretty depressing if you think about it.

OR! I can look at my mother at 24 and look at me at 24 and say.

"I am not a highschool dropout; I am not a divorced, single mother of two; I haven't been married to a physically abusive husband; I haven't tried to kill myself; AND I have a B.A. in honours social anthropology (during which I designed and carried out a research project on my own)."

Which is WAY BETTER than the first one. I'm basically winning at my family when I look at it this way. (I'm also the first of my grandmother's MANY biological grandchildren [the woman had 7 kids] to achieve a university degree! That's success, right there!)

Perspective, baby.

I do need to start exercising though, :/ I'm not impressed with the squishy belly.

 <3
Wooden Bird 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I Did a Guest Blog!

It's really not as exciting as that exclamation point in this post title might lead you to believe. In fact, I didn't even know the blog I did a guestie for even existed until they asked me to a guest blog for them.  And the topic on which I blogged is depressing.  So that's not very exciting either...

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME, my one reader is saying. Who did you blog for?! What did you blog about?!

Basically, I did a short blog about the same thing my thesis is about (Student Poverty) for my school's student union's blog.

"The Problem of Student Poverty".
A guest blog, by me.

Now you all know my name, too. Exciting?! Not really. Actually, if any of you looked at the picture of my thesis that I posted before, I guess you already knew my real name.

Anyway, I had a tough time writing it - they basically asked me to talk about in 300 words what took me 34 pages to engage with in the form of my thesis.

So, does this make me a talking head?

<3
Wooden Bird

Monday, June 4, 2012

Possible Future Vlog?

So, my plan to blog 3x a week is obviously going super well?

Well, I;ve set up my goodreads account so that my reviews automatically post here, so as long as I keep reading, I should have a bit more acitivity here.

I've also been toying with the idea of putting together a series of videos where I do dramatic readings of my hilariously emo teenage poetry. I think it would be a cute laugh. It's pretty freaking emo.

So, we'll see what's going on. In the meantime, if you follow me on twitter, you'll find that's where most of my online activity is these days. I think the sidebar here has a link or at least my most recent tweets, so you should be able to follow that to my feed.

Back to work for me!

<3
Wooden Bird

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Review: The Magicians


The Magicians
The Magicians by Lev Grossman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



This was such a great book! Someone finally took off the rose-coloured glasses, took the magic-and-mundane-worlds-living-parallely trope, and showed that if you're a miserable cunt in your mundane life, being able to do magic probably won't change that. Not only that, but it takes tonnes of work aand effort to master. Holy crap. It's almost not worth it, the way Quenton describes it. Sure, they had to study at Hogwarts, but this sounds like one of those situations in China where they hook kids up to IVs during exam time.

Quenton is immensely unlikeable. He's a whiney, mopey, privileged, self-absorbed dork. Which, to be honest, describes most 16-21 year olds I know. But he grows, so that's nice.

I was just really happy to read a book with the classic Harry Potter theme that treated these kids as normal, modern kids. Maybe it's because they were American and not British, but they swear and drink and fuck eath other. Harry was 17 when he left Hogwarts - and he was honestly still a virgin? Really? I don't know very many 17 year olds who can claim that. Quenton sure as heck can't by the end of the book.

It's a miserable book, brilliantly written. I say it's miserable because Quenton, our narrating character, is miserable. The book itself is fabulous. Grossman is really clever and there were parts I actually laughed out loud at.

If you don't like reading books where bad things happen to good people, and especially to people you actually like, you probably won't like this book.





View all my reviews

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

If I Got Cards Made Up, I Could Put "B.A." After My Name Now

Holy crap! I graduated!

When I get the film developed with the really good pictures (because I am THAT oldschool), I will have a picture of me actually accepting my degree.

<3
Wooden Bird

Monday, May 14, 2012

Getting Back at 'Er!

Hello, Blog,

So, it's been sparse and infrequent in update-land, I realise. I'm sorry, Blog.I have been pretty active on Twitter and Tumblr lately though? Mostly because my phone automatically posts pictures of my cats to Twitter and Tumblr. Yep. I'm that person.

But! I plan to change that!

I'm "working from home" at the moment (haha, what a joke), which means I spend 3 hours a day "coding" (which means tagging transcripts, basically) for a sociologist at one of the universities here.  But that's all I'm doing for work right now. 3 hours a day, five days a week, of reading interviews from 1994 (yes, the data is thaaaat old) and nothing else. Sort of.

I'm also looking for other work (not very hard, though, I need to get on that), and sleeping in until noon everyday. Because that is a productive use of my time. (I really need to sort out my sleep schedule, it's all over the place).

Anyway, I figure one of the best ways to get myself back on track is to start scheduling my time better.

I'm going to make it a point to blog 3 times a week again, like I did last year. I managed, it, too, so I know I can do it now when I have absolutely nothing to do with my time.  I also want to start going for walks. I don't leave the house much, which is ridiculous. I figure if I can get up even as late as 9AM, I can go for an hour long walk and STILL have more time in the day than I do right now, getting up at noon.

SO! Goals for the next month! I'll give myself until the end of June to turn these into habits:

  • Walk one hour a day
  • Blog three times a week
  • Spin three evenings a week
  • Knit every day
  • Spend time every day looking for a second job (until it materializes)
  • Finish Hexwood and start a new book
  • Start writing short stories for that collection my friend and I want to publish
  • Spend more time outside, even if it just means sitting on the commons while I read (two birds, one stone!)
Really, considering how little I have to do with my time right now, this should NOT be hard to do!

Also, right now money is pretty tight, but hopefully in the next couple months, I can start having a steadier income. Once that happens, I would like to start taking Egyptian Bellydance classes and Kung Fu classes. Seriously. Why not? I could be a belly dancing kung fu girl. I could quote Nero with sincerity.

<3
Wooden Bird

Monday, April 30, 2012

Unicorn barf!

Take a look at what I dropped off at Plan B today! One ply shetland, one ply a ridiculously sparkly mix of fibers from a luxury batt. I'm on my phone right now, but I'll link to the seller as soon as I can get to the info.

One skein is about 170 yd, the other about 220. Thick n thin, both.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Gift Project #1

I honestly can't believe that newborns are actually this teenie. O____O


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Unicorn Barf

Do I leave it as a single, or ply it with shetland? Plying it with itself would be kind of ridiculous I think, and it's a super pretty single. I have 2 more ounces. Maybe I'll ply this with shetland and do the other as a single? Decisions, agh!

<3
Wooden Bird


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Wrote a Thesis!

Holy cow!

I wrote a thesis!



Thankfully, the only typos I found after I handed it in were in the acknowledgements....

<3
Wooden Bird

Friday, April 6, 2012

Welcome to My Depression

I've mentioned my depression before, quite recently in fact. But I feel like the subject deserves a better post than that.

I have struggled with a chronic, reoccurring, undiagnosed depression for around 12 years now. Since I was about 12, I've dealt with a self-loathing, belittling, and hateful voice in my head that has not stopped trying to undermine me.

This voice is my own, of course. Half the time I am able to ignore it, tell myself I am being ridiculous, and it's obvious that I'm awesome. However, there are times that voice wins the argument.

This past two yeas, as I mentioned in my previous post, have had a few acute stressors that have put a great deal of pressure on my existing coping strategies:
  • I left an abusive home situation
  • I was dumped by the man I truly believed I would marry
  • My thesis has been looming all year with the threat of failure woven throughout it
  • Most recently, my ex moved out and told me that for us to remain friends in the future, we need to not hang out or see/talk to each other for a while.
Depression... it's a scary thing. You don't want to talk to people about it because that makes you a drag, or too high-maintenance, especially if you can't fix it in a timely manner. The longer it goes on, the more you feel like you're just frustrating people. The more you feel the need to hide your sadness from people, because you don't want to burden them with it anymore.

But not talking about it, not reaching out and seeking support from those who care about you, that is what the depression inside you has tricked you into doing. you believe you are a burden, but you are not.

This past year, I isolated myself almost completely. The only person who got to see what was really going on was my ex, because we lived together. And what was going on?

Utter sadness. I could pinpoint reasons - loneliness, heartbreak - but people normally overcome that in time. What happened with me is that my preexisting insecurities, my self-hatred, used these feelings as ammunition against myself, as legitimizing factors for that hatred.

I was lonely? Obviously I deserved to be alone. I was dumped and heartbroken? That's because I am an awful person who doesn't deserve to be loved. Why should I expect anyone else to love me when even I can't?

This is what went through my head everyday upon waking up. How awful a person I was, what all my faults were, how I've made terrible mistakes. I was unreasonably paranoid that people would do things on purpose to exclude or hurt me because I was awful, and I did deserve it, but didn't want it. I would get irrationally angry easily, and was overly defensive. I knew very well how awful I was, I didn't want to hear it from someone else. I developed something like insomnia - I simply couldn't fall asleep until I was at a point where my body just couldn't stay awake anymore. But then I would sleep far longer than reasonable.

Some days I could shut the thoughts up and go to school and work and pretend everything was normal. Some days I couldn't, and I would stay in bed for two or three days, too exhausted from my own emotional beating on myself. I often thought things that I don't wish to repeat, but simply made me more and more ashamed of myself.

I finally got up the courage to talk to my doctor. She confirmed that yes, I definitely have symptoms of chronic depression. My history of self-harm as a teenager and a family history involving suicide attempts simply reinforced the fact that it's basically obvious that it's not in my head, it's in my brain.

Unfortunately, because my drug coverage is through my university health plan, and I am graduating in May (hopefully), my coverage will not last long enough if I begin medication now. I simply can't afford the meds myself, and I can't afford insurance.

I've decided instead, to try B vitamins, and intend to start running, and want to begin meditation and yoga again. I just have to actually do these things, rather than just think about doing them.  I don't expect these measures to cure my depression, but I hope that they can help stabilize it to a point that I can cope without medication, at least until I can afford to consider medication options.

I did not write this to get attention. I wrote this as a form of self-affirmation.

My depression is not something I should feel ashamed of and hide. It's a legitimate health issue, and I am far better off admitting openly that I am struggling and need help and support than hiding in my bed and wishing I could feel better.

I wrote this because I know I am not the only person who has dealt with something like this (if you haven't read Hyperbole & a Half's post about depression, you should). I want to let others in this boat know that we don't have to do it alone - if we all grab a paddle, we can steer ourselves to shore together.

I wrote this to prove to myself that I'm not alone, and that I do deserve to get better, to be happy.

<3
Wooden Bird

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Catching Up With Technology!

So I finally got myself one of them newfangled smart phones all the young uns have been talking about.

It's a Samsung Galaxy Ace with the Android OS and it's pretty swank!

Anyway, hopefully this means more posting, more pictures, and more knitting talk. And, yes, I'm well aware that I misused 'hopefully' in that sentence.

<3
Wooden Bird

Ps: this is my 100th post!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Pictures! Of Yarn!

I totally remembered I have a couple of skeins of yarn that I haven't posted pictures of anywhere.

These were spun in January, on the laaadddyyyybbuuuugggg!






Fleece Artist BFL that my friend gave me for no reason other than she's an awesome friend. It's kind of thick'n'think but gorgeously smooshy and bouncy. Averaging a heavy worsted.




The jacob spun up so much nicer (to me) on the wheel than it did on my spindle. Not sure why. I think I was adding too much twist with the spindle, it was turning out like wire. Anyway, yeah, this is plain Jacob from flanelberry fibres. Mostly heavy worsted I'd say.

As soon as I have time away from my thesis, I'll be spining a lot more, I promise...

<3
Wooden Bird

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Life, the Universe, and Knitting

So, life's been a little bonkers lately, and the knitting has been a good distraction.

So, first, life stuff: I spoke to my doctor on Friday about starting anti-depressants. Which is scary and big and I know it's stupid, but I have to admit that I feel like I should be stronger.


Monday, March 12, 2012

It's Been A While

I'm not even going to look at how long it's been since my last post. I know it's been way too long.

Things I have done in the meantime!

Finished Mrs. Darcy!


Did I ever post a picture of my Mizzle, from December? I don't think so... Well, that's the finished one in that picture, with the Mrs. Darcy.

Um, the Mizzle is Kauni in some pretty colourway I can't remember. And the the cardi is KnitPicks City Tweed, in... Romance? I think? Something like that. It's super soft. I really like it...

HOWEVER.  I think this pattern needs a stiffer yarn. It's so soft and drapey and super comfy and cozy, but with the steep V, there's so little fabric hanging off the shoulders that with the soft slippery yarn it slides off my shoulder a lot. I think it might be a nice sweater in a cotton blend maybe?

I dyed my hair pink, as you can see. I did that because I was freaking out about a presentation I did at my school's undergraduate social sciences conference. I presented my ongoing thesis. I was stressin', and so I dyed my hair pink. It's what I do. When I can't change anything else, I change my hair.

I actually really like that picture.

Anyway. Um. What else...

I went to New York City! For the first time ever. It was a whirlwind of two and a half days and we smashed a lot of things into that time and it was exhausting, but the city was pretty awesome. And I saw the Strawberry Fields memorial <3.

I got a research assistant job, although, I'm kind of in limbo waiting to hear back about training, but in any case, it's a research assistant position in my field of study (more or less) which is awesome.

Um. Also, I'm making a doctor's appointment to talk to them about possible medication options for my ridiculous craziness. It's getting pretty bad. So. That might help. Maybe. I don't know, we'll see.

And my thesis is a noose around my neck and a giant raincloud on my horizon ALL THE TIME. I want it to be done, I am feeling so overwhelmed by it, holy smokes.

Not much else in the things that are going on here.

I probably won't post again for a while. Thesis stuff is getting serious and I need to focus on school like crazy.

But I do plan to be more regular about posting once that's all dealt with and done.

<3
Wooden Bird

Monday, February 6, 2012

Things That Have Been Going On (aka: Why I Haven't Been Blogging)

Well. My thesis is being all thesisy! I'm panicking and paranoid and feel a little sick to my stomach every time I think about it.

This could be partially due to the fact that I'm taking my unfinished research and headlining a workshop at my university's undergraduate arts and social science conference next Saturday. (Oh god. Next Saturday. I just wretched a little.)


Sunday, January 22, 2012

Spinning the Eff Outta This Shit!

I... am feeling very productive. I have two finished skeins, and three drying. I'm about to sit down and spin some more. What the heck, eh? Hopefully I will have a chance to head down to Plan B tomorrow after classes, with some yarns for the cubby. If I can have six on hand, I will be pleased.

I even got schoolwork done! What the heck, eh?

<3
Wooden Bird

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Thermophile Yarns is launching!

So, as a follow up to my previous post....

We have the display cubby space! The only thing left I have to do is get some skeins done up and bring them to the shop, which, it turns out, is about a 5 minute walk from my house, so talk about convenient!

So, by the end of the week - at the latest - my handspun yarns will be available at the brick-and-mortar building of Plan B Halifax Merchant's Co-Op!  You can find them on facebook, too.

Right now, I have one skein of Jacob done and ready to go, a skein of BFL hand-dyed by Fleece Artist drying, shetland singles ready to be plied, and lots more fibre to play with. Today I picked up a small braid of BFL in really pretty greens from a local yarn shop, I'm thinking it is destined to be a singles yarn.

So, my plan for today and tomorrow is to alternate homework (I have a lot of it, and two assignments due on Monday and Tuesday) with spinning work, and try to get a good stock up so that I can have some stuff to bring to the shop by Tuesday at the latest.

Excitement!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Exciting Opportunities Await!

A friend of mine who crochets the cutest feotuses (feoti?) sent me a message yesterday.

Apparently, there is a merchant co-op here in town, only a few blocks from my home.  My friend was there yesterday and was talking to them about selling her little crocheted goodies, and she mentioned that I spin yarn, and they were very interested in having me on board, as well!

So - it looks like my friend and I are going to split a cubby in this place, it's only 30$/month, and split that's only 15, which is pretty damn good. With the spinning wheel, I should be able to produce at LEAST one skein of yarn a week, and if I power through a bit, I might be able to produce more to start with.

Speaking of which, last night I spun up half of a 4oz braid of BFL by Fleece Artist that a friend gave me as a gift last term.  I'm trying the fractal method, to see how that turns out.  I'll edit in a picture of the singles later on (I'm at work now) when I have a pic.

So! That's awesome! Hopefully I can make some sales! I have a tonne of fiber to get through, so I should have some stock for the next little while, :)

<3
Wooden Bird

Monday, January 16, 2012

My Birthday/Christmas Awesome Finally Arrived!

All right, so I was supposed to write about this a week ago, but I've been ridiculously busy.

Something that looks a lot like this came to my door last Saturday!





This was my birthday/christmas present from my ex. (Yeah, yeah, I know. It's weird. Tell me about it). I don't have any proper pictures of it yet because the lighting in our living room is terrible, and also because I always forget to take pictures. But I've been spinning on it whenever I can, and I'm getting the hang of it! And holy cow, talk about upping production speed! I'll post pictures of some of the finished skeins when I get a chance.

Seriously, this was one of the best gifts ever. :-D

<3
Wooden Bird

Saturday, January 7, 2012

2012 Is Starting Off Not Terribly!

You might notice, I've taken down the panicky "I don't have a job anymore, please donate" button. I found out the day before getting back to Halifasx that I had 6 hours a week - not a lot, but hey, it's better than nothing. I figured it would be easier to make up the rest of what I needed a month, rather than everything that I needed a month... But wait! It gets better!