Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Holiday Knitting

I'm finished the most pressing holiday knitting - the stuff I absolutely had to have finished by Sunday morning. Go me! Three hats, two pairs of mittens - all for the little nieces and nephews. Next on the list is the sweater for my ex, but he knows not to expect that until after Christmas.  I've offered to help his mum do some of her last-minute Christmas knitting, so that'll be on the docket for the next couple evenings.

It's good to have it done, now I can knit in a more relaxed manner.

Not sure if I mentioned this yet or not, but I finished the Mizzle shawl that I started on the 7th, and while it was supposed to be for me, I'm going to have to try to sell it, I think, with the lack of job stuff and all. So that's too bad.

Anyway.  December has been ... interesting ... so far. I'm ready for next year to get moving though.  I need to get out of this country and on with my life.

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

No More Moping (here, anyway)

I've decided to stop posting my mopey breakup stuff here. However, if you're super interested in my broken heart and how I can't get over my ex, I'll be posting that stuff over at Weak in the Knees, a blog I have started so that I can continue to catharthise without subjecting people to that.

That way, this blog will remain more about my general lifey stuff, and my crafty (mostly knitting) stuff. Nothing so depressing and tedious as someone's breakup.

Hopefully that will make it easier for people to enjoy this blog without feeling bombarded with weepy mopey "dear diary, he doesn't love me, I can't go on" stuff.  Sorry for subjected you to that before.

Wooden Bird

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Hey. I'm Fucked.

My job may have no hours for me next term.  They decided not to tell me this until te last minute, when I am already in another province, just to make it harder for me to find a backup plan for January.

I'm really in a bind here, peeps. If you can help out in any way, it would be beyond appreciated, and I would be able to feed myself and my cats and pay my rent.

I don't have my notes with me regarding the cowl, but first thing I'm going to do when I get back to Nova Scotia is write up the pattern and put it up on etsy.

Documentary Review Time!

A F a l l F r o m G r a c e :

A Review of the BBC's 2011 All Watched Over by Machines of 

 Loving Grace by Adam Curtis

“This is a story about the rise of machines”. The introduction to each of the three parts of Adam Curtis' 2011 documentary, All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace, seems straightforward enough. But far from being that simple, there are addendums and caveats to each of the three times this phrase is stated at the beginning of each part. On the surface, this documentary is exactly what it states; but in more subtle ways, it is also a story about the failure of machines and the failure of rational models when exclusively applied to just about anything that livesboth organically and metaphoricallyon the planet Earth. Most importantly, it is a story about how all this ties together to cause the market crash of 2008.

Monday, December 5, 2011


I don't think I ever showed off my tattoo! Here is a crappy webcam picture of it!

By Josh Dobbs, currently with TechFrique Tattoo in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

Wooden Bird

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Why Shitty Writing is a Tragedy

Okay, so nobody cares about Twilight, but I'm going to talk about it anyway.

I think, in the hands of a half-decent writer who didn't have weird Mormon ideas about gender roles, Twilight could have been a pretty good vampire story. Even with the sparklevamps. Fine, that's kind of cheesy, but whatever - it's a reimagining of a mythos that has remained pretty stagnant for a long time. We all know the vampire story. There have been different explanations for the sun/garlic/whatever "allergies" but it's usually pretty much the same. So, Stephenie Meyer came up with something totally different as far as vampire physiology. Fine, good for her. Unfortunately, she is a shitty writer and a mysoginist sympathizer.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I Promise One Day I'll Stop Talking About the Breakup

I think I do want to move on.  I'm tired of feeling jealous every time some new woman falls into his lap (literally). I'm tired of getting so irrationally angry at his lack of feelings for me that I snap and say hurtful things to him.

I want to love him, I want him to love me, but I don't want to feel this way anymore.  Sadder than I've ever been one moment, and then angry and jealous the next.  It's crippling.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This is Not How You Thesis!

I... am entering panic mode. Yep.

My thesis proposal is due Friday, at 3pm, along with my ethics application. What am I doing? Reading through the Reasoning with Vampires archive (which is an AWESOME tumblog, btw. If you love grammar and appreciate that Twilight is literary drivel if it can be called literary anything, you will love this tumblog).

I just cannot bring myself to work on my proposal or my ethics for more than a few moments at a time. I'll open the file... stare at it a bit... maybe write a sentence... fix that sentence there... open one of my sources... scan through it for a few minutes looking for anything relevant... and then go back to RwV.


Monday, November 28, 2011


I know I'm supposed to eventually move on from this breakup and live my life. I know I'm supposed to be an empowered woman who can do her own thing, who doesn't need anybody to make her happy...

Well, yeah. I can be happy without him. I can live my life without him. I can be successful, and do my own thing, and get on with everything without him. But it certainly won't be the same. I won't ever get over it, it seems. I love him as much now as I ever did. I miss him desperately every day. I can do my things, get my life moving, but I'm always missing him.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Oh Yeah

I don't think I actually mentioned here that I'm planning to go to Korea next year to teach english. But, uh, yeah. That's the plan!

Just thought I should put that out there lol.

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Well. Don't I Feel Stupid.

My ex got home from his date this morning. He's seeing this girl and I guess its getting serious, so that's great.

Anyway on the walk to campus, I asked him what the hell what he said on sunday night to me was supposed to mean.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Things I Learned in Montreal

I got back from Montreal yesterday. Here are some things I learned while I was there:

Friday, November 18, 2011


I... get to see Dorian Sagan speak today. Why, yes, that is Carl Sagan's son. Yup. That's what I get to do.

I am going to pee myself.

So excited!

Wooden Bird

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Pattern Idea!

I had an idea for a pattern and I am really excited about working out the construction and whatnot of it. It's not overly complicated, and it's not like it hasn't been done before, but I had the idea without seeing other patterns for it, so I feel at least a little clever. After I had the idea, I looked up the specs and found patterns for similar things, but nothing quiiiiite like I had in mind, so I think it's worth coming up with something.

And... at some point I'll get that cowl pattern written up. Heh.

Wooden Bird

Monday, November 14, 2011


Yeah... nothing on my lists for my four day weekend got done. Nothing. That's a lie. My date went well (but I panicked and did not make a move when I should have!) and I had yummy wings. I think wings were on my list. But yeah. I slept most of it and wasted the rest of it.

Now I work tomorrow, take my cat to the vet, have another date, and then on Wednesday, fly to Montreal for the AAAs! Ah!

Wooden Bird

Friday, November 11, 2011

One step forward, two strides back

Still left wondering what the hell happened to my life.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. What I even want to do. If I want to do anything.
I miss him. I keep missing him and it just gets worse, not better.
I feel like no matter how many pieces I accumulate, this puzzle is still a mess. I can't sort it out and I just feel like I'm facing something largely futile.
I think going to Korea will be good for me, but what does "good for me" mean? I feel like I'll spend a lot of my time not working crying (not that that is any different from now.) I'll just be unable to knock on his door in the middle of the night and ask if I can sleep in his bed.
I feel like such a child. I do things like that. I'll be feeling miserable and lonely, and instead of dealing with it, powering through it, I just cry for a bit and then break down and ask him to hold me. And he still does. Is it any surprise I can't stop loving this man?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Loooong Weekend!

See what I did there? I put four 'o's in 'long' because I have a four day weekend! Woo! Starting tomorrow! Thursday we get as a "study day", and then Friday for Remembrance Day, and then Sat/Sun as usual.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Next Stop, Korea! (Actually, a few stops from now, whatevs)

Not sure if I mentioned this before, and honestly, I'm kind of lazy so I can't be bothered to search through old posts.

Anyhow, I've decided to put grad school off for a year or two (which is a sigh of relief in its own right because I don't have to mess around with applications and application fees and rejection this year) and instead go teach english in Korea. Cheap cost of living, getting to see another country without having to finance it myself, getting some space between myself and the giant mess my life has turned into here in Canada... all while actually getting to pay down some student loans! Sounds good to me. And I can take my cats, as far as I know. (Who have been little shits lately, thanks for asking. So, actually, I'll be taking them if I don't strangle them first.) Korea seems to have a really reasonable pet import policy, so as long as I get them vaccinated and microchipped before leaving.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Week in Accomplishments

  • Finished my capelet in time for Halloween parties
  • Finished my friend's arm warmers
  • Got so drunk I puked on Saturday night (is that an accomplishment?)
  • Worked up the nerve to give a boy from class I've never spoken to my number (via his friend who I've never spoken to before)
  • Only cried two or three times! (That's definitely an accomplishment)
  • Got my post-humanism paper in on time
  • Got my annotated bibliography for my thesis in on time
  • Figured out what I'm going to do for my violence presentation next week
  • Had coffee with an adorable girl
  • Did laundry (and hung it all up to dry)! (you have no idea what kind of an accomplishment that is. I can see my floor)
  • Got my passport application in
  • Had a great Samhain with amazing friends
  • Drank way too much between Friday night and last night
  • Admitted to a friend that I like him (just to get shot down, but whatever. I made a move, that's an accomplishment).
  • Made it to work for every shift
  • Did some things on my own (that rarely happens)

That's my capelet! (I was a porcelain doll)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I love the Capucine hat... I totally adore it. I've knitted it twice.

Apparently, I Am A Carpet

...and I need to stop.

I need to speak up when I feel like I am being taken for granted, and ask others to pick up the slack when I feel like I am the only person pulling my weight.

Monday, October 24, 2011

I'm An Enigma, Wrapped In An Enigma, Wrapped In Yet Another Enigma

Apparently, the first four words you see describe you...

I got Dramatic, Naive, Secure, and Thoughtful. Which is kind of a bizarre mix?

This Week!

Okay, I have a tonne of crap on my plate this week... Let's see. I'll make a list and at the end of the week, we can see how much I suck.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Stars In My Eyes, Knitting On My Needles

I feel sad again. But when don't I these days? I am sorry to be such a downer.

I'm knitting a little capelet for my halloween costume (I'm going as a porcelain doll). I bought huge bulky yarn to make it. That's exciting.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Someimes, I Feel Like a Crazy Person

I seriously do not know what to do about my brain or my heart sometimes.

I need to get over this whole situation. If I don't, I'm going to lose my best friend. I can't keep going on like this, because it will damage what is left of our relationship - the friendship part. He's not going to want to be around me at all if I keep going on like this.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

It Doesn't Stop Hurting, I Am Learning

I live with my ex.

This can be really hard. He's dating (I've tried; I'm not good at it, and I'm really not that interested in anybody else, even still) and that can be really heartbreaking when he brings a girl home.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Occupy Halifax

Halifax's Occupy protest is today. I'll be there with bells on (that's a good possibility, actually) and will be offering myself in solidarity with the other 99% struggling to survive.

Together, we can make a change.

Wooden Bird

Thursday, October 13, 2011

My (knitting) Life Just Got Awesome

So, this summer, I stumbled across Vogue Knitting's Stichionary books in the library. (I love making links.)

Anyway, I immediately fell into what I call knitter's lust. That's when you find a pattern, or yarn, or book, or something related to knitting and all you want to do is stroke it and fondle it and brush your needles up against it and imagine all the possibilities you could explore with it while snuggled under your blankets, Enya playing softly in the background, cup of ginger and peach tea steaming on the windowsill next to you...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Surprised By Mrs. Darcy

Absolutely ages ago, I put the Mrs. Darcy Cardigan in my que on Ravelry and then left it there with lofty hopes of someday taking the plunge into actual garments.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Something's Gotta Give (And It Can't Be Us)

I fully support the Occupy [________] movement, and I really want to see it create change in our societies. Canada needs the overhaul almost as much the States does. This is an important movement, and it needs to happen.

I'm worried though. Something's gotta give at some point, and if the movement is to make a difference, it can't be us. We've got to stick it out. Because if we quit while we're ahead, we'll screw ourselves over. They'll take it as proof that we're just a bunch of lazy hippies, and look, we got bored and are going back to our lives as lazy hippies.

Don't do it! Don't let them win! We're wearing them down, we're making our point, we CAN make a difference if we just stand our ground!

The Occupy Halifax stuff is in its planning stages right now, and as soon as that gets under way I'll be there with bells on, too. I wish I could be supporting with physical presence already, but I don't have the means for travel. So I'm waiting for it to come here, and it is on its way.

I know we can do it. We can create change, we can demand better for ourselves and our communities and our futures. We deserve it - but we won't get it if we dissipate now. We can't let it go until they give in. It's a tug of war at this point, and we have to keep tugging it (hah).

I'm so proud of everyone who's fighting for this. You have all my support. I'll be with you on the front lines soon.

Truth, Love, Beauty, and Equality. We deserve all of it. We can reclaim it.

Wooden Bird

Monday, October 10, 2011


We had our Thanksgiving potluck last night; we know a bunch of people (ourselves included) who can't make it home or don't have anybody to spend Thanksgiving with, so we had a potluck for all of us outcasts.

It went off really well! Lots of good food, good company, and everyone seemed to have a good time and enjoy themselves.

I tend to celebrate Thanksgiving as an excuse to have a feast with friends - not because I support its origins. I'm not a fan of walking into somebody else's house and telling them I live there now and they have to play by my rules, and that's basically where Thanksgiving comes from, except on a continental scale (literally).

So, keep in mind when you're sharing your time with friends and family this Thanksgiving the true history behind it. Don't let it ruin your time with your loved ones; any excuse to be communal is a good excuse, but don't let the truth fade away and mean nothing. Recognizing it is important.

Happy feasting, folks!

Wooden Bird

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Sweater (But More Than Just That)

I've begun knitting a sweater for my ex for Christmas. If I finish it by his birthday, it will be his birthday present, but I doubt I'll get it done in time.

The blue is so much nicer in real life.

He's really excited; he helped pick the colours, and he picked the pattern. He can't wait for it to be finished and I know he'll appreciate it and that's why I'm knitting it for him.

Or at least, that's part of why I am knitting it for him. Part of me is treating the whole thing like a giant spell worked from knot magic. Which, to me, makes sense since knitting is basically just knotting together yarn. Sort of. Crochet is more like knots, but in any case. Each stitch is a singular thing that is part of the whole.

Anyway. I feel like if I imbue this sweater with enough of myself, each stitch a wish for our future, for getting back together. Each stitch composed not just of yarn, but of love and hope and how much I miss him...

We got pretty drunk last night, and I asked him, if he would consider getting back together, especially since I've changed a lot since we broke up, and things just seem to be going so well with us now. We never fight, we get along great as friends, we enjoy each other's company, we both still find each other attractive.... but he said No. He said he would have to fall madly in love with me again, just to consider it. Because of how hurt he was by the situation leading up to our breakup. Because of how much I hurt him.

So... maybe, just maybe, I can show him. With this sweater, with patience, with hope and quiet background love, and showing him how I've changed, and that I am someone he could be with. Maybe he'll fall in love with me again. Maybe he'll remember his old feelings, or new feelings for me will be born. I don't know. I just hope that this sweater might sway him. That when he wears it, he'll think of me, and how much I care about him, and maybe he'll consider giving me another chance.

Instead of the flat out No I got last night. Suffice it to say, I cried. I miss him terribly, and have never regretted anything as much as I regret my actions leading up to his breaking up with me. I really do hope things work out. I've never wanted anything this badly. I've never loved anyone this much.

Wooden Bird

Friday, October 7, 2011

Things to Consider Before Getting Pets

Most of these can apply to babies, as well, so this is like two posts in one...

I am going to preface this by saying I am not a dirty person. I maybe don't tidy as often as I should, but I'm not dirty. Even with regular cleaning, the following things happen when you have pets (or babies), because shit happens while you're at work and school, and you can't spend your whole life cleaning. This is the main issue. If you relaly can't stand the following issues, then you really shouldn't have a pet.

  • Poop. Does the idea of handling another being's poop gross you out? Don't get a pet. Or a baby.
  • Nice things. Do you like having them? Don't get a pet, they will just knock them over and then hide from you behind the couch so you can't even punish them. Babies are expensive enough that you won't be able to afford nice things.
  • A fresh smelling house. Do you want one? Don't get a pet. Your house will smell like whatever animal you have, litter (which, no matter how often you clean, will from time to time smell like poop, particularly right after they do so), bedding for small rodents (and wet bedding when you're inbetween cleaning). This one doesn't really apply to babies, especially if you regularly coat them in baby powder. But they can smell like poop sometimes.
  • A clean/tidy house. Same problem as above. Fur everywhere (rugs, carpets, furniture...). Toys everywhere. Things knocked over. Clawed furniture. Pet food scattered all around the food bowl. Litter tracked the bathroom/litter area. For babies, it's pretty much just toys and stuff everywhere.
  • Clean clothes! You will forever be covered in fur. Especially if you have cats. Get used to being that person. I hope this isn't an issue with babies, honestly...
  • The appendages of a self-mutilating emokid. This mostly applies to cats or rodents. Maybe birds (I haven't had a bird so I don't know). They will attack you when you least expect it, and their claws and teeth are effing sharp. You will be constantly covered in little red scrithy marks. They hurt. Baby teeth hurt, too!
  • Unfaltering companionship, love, and cuddles almost anytime you want them. If you like those things, then you definitely should get a pet. It really does make up for all the other stuff...
Wooden Bird 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Occupation, Baby

Just in case you have no clue what is going on with this whole Occupy Wall Street movement, and it's branch off movements, here is a rundown.

From CNN's Douglas Rushkoff - "Think Occupy Wall St. is a phase? You don't get it"

In fact, we are witnessing America's first true Internet-era movement, which -- unlike civil rights protests, labor marches, or even the Obama campaign -- does not take its cue from a charismatic leader, express itself in bumper-sticker-length goals and understand itself as having a particular endpoint.
Yes, there are a wide array of complaints, demands, and goals from the Wall Street protesters: the collapsing environment, labor standards, housing policy, government corruption, World Bank lending practices, unemployment, increasing wealth disparity and so on. Different people have been affected by different aspects of the same system -- and they believe they are symptoms of the same core problem.

 The Wikepedia article states that:
The participants of the event are mainly protesting against social and economic inequality, corporate greed, and the influence of corporate money and lobbyists on government, among other concerns. Adbusters states that, "Beginning from one simple demand – a presidential commission to separate money from politics – we start setting the agenda for a new America." The protest's organizers hope that the protesters themselves will formulate their own specific demands, expecting them to be focused on "taking to task the people who perpetrated the economic meltdown."

By October 1, similar demonstrations had been held in Washington, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, Miami, Portland, Maine, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, and Denver
And honestly, that pretty much sums it up... What do I think of the whole thing? I'm an anti-capitalist at heart, to tell you the truth. I'm a libertarian socialist (look it up) who thinks it's time to dismantle the industrial capitalist machine. I'm for small-scale communal living and sustainable production.

Yes, I blog. Yes, I use Facebook. Yes, I use Twitter and send text messages and bought my computer from a big box store. But, you know what? I'm using the tools of the enemy to take the enemy down. The enemy is corporate greed and political dishonesty. If I could sequester myself on some piece of land with others who think like myself, and a garden, and some livestock, well, that would be awesome. I'd love to live off the grid and not pander to the broken system we have in place.

And maybe I could, but it wouldn't be right, not now. There are too many people being harmed by the system right now, who don't have a way out, for a multitude of reasons. So I play the game, because it means I might help them, by taking the game out from the inside.

This is my Straylight Run.

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Coffee. It's a slippery slope.

I started drinking coffee when I met my ex. It was a good excuse to justify "randomly" bumping into him at the library coffee kiosk.*

When I started drinking coffee, I didn't really like the taste of it, so I would load it up with sugar and cream (18%M.F. motherfuckers. Only way to be; none of this skim crap). (Sorry. I'm normally not that verbally violent. I'm just really passionate about milk fat percentages). Anyway. I would do that.

But over time, I developed a taste for coffee, and even started to be able to discern between "good" and "bad" coffee. For instance:

Tim Horton's coffee: Don't do it. Just drink the hot chocolate. You'll be happier.
Anything that isn't Tim Horton's coffee: Probably a lot better than Tim Horton's coffee (except maybe fast food coffee? Like at McDonald's? You probably don't want to drink that either.)

Right, so I started drinking coffee to better stalk a boy, and then I actually just started drinking coffee for the sake of drinking coffee.

Now, I have a bit of a coffee dependancy. I mean, I can go about my day without drinking coffee even once, and I do it a couple times a week - I just won't have time in the morning to make it or won't think of it (that's how you know it's just a mild dependancy) or whatever, and I'm usually too cheap/broke/self-righteous to buy coffee, etc.

So, no headaches or anything, but by the end of the day I'll be wondering why the hell I was so tired all day, and then it will hit me. Ohhhhh... I forgot to drink my coffee this morning.

I try not to drink coffee past mid-afternoon. We'll make a pot in the french press in the morning (one large mug each plus a bit, or two small cups each) and maaaybe another around lunchtime if we're home. But after that I try to switch to tea. Partially because I don't want to develop a stronger dependancy (my ex was getting migraines for a while when he didn't drink coffee, so we started cutting down then) and partially because I'm trying to train myself to get into a better sleep-wake schedule, and I figure if I switch to tea midafternoon, I'll be more likely to be asleep by 12am so I can getup for 6.30am without feeling like a total zombie.

I'm not sure what the point of this post was, so I'll just make up a moral.

The moral of the story is that if you start drinking coffee to stalk a boy, it will become a central part of your life, and you better get used to paying upwards of 15$ for decent coffee or get used to a lifetime of the gutrot that comes along with shitty coffee.

Wooden Bird

*My university's main library has an atrium that extends the height of the building. The stacks are located on the upper floors against the outer four walls of the building and there is open studying space (tables and chairs, outlets) in the hallways that surround the hole in the centre of the building that the atrium creates. The walls here are made of glass, so you can look down from your desk and see the people downstairs in the main floor atrium. You can see the coffee kiosk, the deli kiosk, etc. So, I would camp out on the second floor, where I could get a good view of the Second Cup, and I would wait until I saw my ex show up in line for coffee, and then I would run down to get a coffee and "bump into him". It worked well enough, all things considered...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My Cats are Freaking WEIRD...

Warning, this post talks about cat poop, cat pee, and the handling of such offensive materials. If that grosses you out, well... go somewhere else?

So, my cats love watching me clean the litterbox. They are just utterly fascinated by it... they just watch with this look on their faces asking "WHERE DID ALL THE POOP GO YOU ARE MAGIC?!"

Anyways. So I was cleaning the litterbox today... and as soon as I get all the old gross stuff into the garbage bag, and some fresh litter into the pan, Freddie is super excited and hops in and pees... Okay, that's fairly normal.

But Karl... Karl made it weird...

He watched her very intently while she peed, and then when she finished and turned around to start covering it up, he began to help her. He started pawing at the litter and trying to cover it up, too.

A) There isn't a lot of space between the toilet and the vanity, which is where the litterbox is. One cat takes up plenty of room, so this was an awkward dance of two cats trying to copver up one little pee in a tight space.

B) WTF, Karl?! Are you really that weird?

I adopted freak cats. Go figure.

Wooden Bird

Monday, October 3, 2011

Bra-ptions (Get it? Bra... options... bra-ptions)

Sometimes, I do not wear a bra. And I don't mean that sometimes, when I am vegging out at home, I don't wear a bra. I mean sometimes I decide I don't want to wear a bra and then I go to classes and work and people stare at my nipples. But that's cool. I totally own it.

And sometimes, I definitely do wear a bra.

Here are some reasons that I choose to wear or not wear a bra.

  • If it's really hot and muggy, I'll probably wear a bra, because underboob sweat is worse when they're just hanging there (at least at my cup size. If I was an A or a small B, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue... but as a large C, there's a lot of "underboob").
  • If it's kinda hot but not that sticky out, I probably won't wear a bra, because it's one less layer of clothing to make me uncomfortably warm.
  • If I'm going for a bike ride, sometimes I won't wear a bra, and then I'll regret it and wish I had, especially if the path I'm taking is particularly bumpy.
  • If I know I'm going to be dealing with old men all day, I'll wear a bra.
  • If I'm just hanging out on campus all day, fuck the bra.
  • If I'm going out dancing or something, I'll wear a bra because a) the excessive bouncing and movement hurts when there's this much boob, and b) drunk me is not likely to notice if I pop out of my shirt, and having a bra on is one more way to ensure that my areolas don't go galavanting around town
  • There are some shirts I have that just look bad if I don't wear a bra, so when I wear them, I wear a bra. (But, I have been known to wear white shirts without a bra, and low cut shirts without a bra.)

I guess I just really don't care about people seeing my boobs. I'm a semi-nudist at home already, and I'm kind of a hippie and think people should feel more comfortable about their bodies. So, I try to actually take that and apply it to myself, and I generally am pretty comfortable with my body. Also, I have a bit of exhibitionist in me and I get a kick out of seeing people's eyes widen when they spot my nipples through my shirt.

I am a horrible person, and now you know way too much about my bra wearing habits!

You're welcome,

Wooden Bird

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Hey Look At That!

I just noticed I actually have a couple of people following my blog! That's pretty awesome. Hi Glenn and √Člune!

Wooden Bird 

Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

Sexy, right?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Dating. It's kind of lame.

Every awkward date I go on just serves to remind me how things were never awkward with my ex.

When we started hanging out, he was just so confident and I felt so able to just be me. I felt totally at ease with him as soon as I met him. I just knew that everything was right. I always felt that way with him. He still makes me feel that way when we hang out, he just has that way.

It really just makes me miss him even more than usual. I think this is why I've stuck to seeing girls. I can't compare them to him because it's just different to begin with.

I don't know. This whole dating thing is kind of lame. I just want my life back, where everything was going right and I had a future with my best friend.

I still wake up sometimes and forget. And then I remember and hope for a second that it was just a bad dream...

But it never is.

Wooden Bird

Friday, September 30, 2011


I keep saying that I'm going to start exercising, and I even found out which of the drop in fitness classes at the gym fit into my schedule, and wrote them into my agenda and my google calendar and my wall calendar.

There's Body Trim! for Mondays, after I am done work in the AV office (I work on campus, as a student assistant in the office that lends computers to professors so they can use the projectors during class).

Then there's either Zumba or Yoga on Tuesdays, after my study block in the library.

On Wednesdays, there's Yoga after work again.

So, that's just three days a week of scheduled exercise. You'd think I could manage that and that I might actually start not being a limp noodle of a human being anymore....

But it's jsut so hard to convince myself to go. Or I forget my gym clothes at home. Or I make up some other excuse like "I am le tiiiiired".

But really, I do want to start actually going. So.... let's say Monday I definitely am going to start?

I'll let you guys know how that goes...

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My Last Year of Undergrad, What?!

It occurs to me that I haven't yet posted about starting back at school again.

So far, it's going reasonably well. I'm taking a class on post-humanism, taught by my favourite professor in the world, Kregg Hetherington, who (as you will see if you click on the link) is also the most beautiful professor in the world.

I'm also taking a class on violence and social suffering (a fun, lighthearted topic, no?) taught by one of the sweetest and nicest professors in the world, Lindsay DuBois.

And finally, I am enrolled in the honours seminar, which basically translates into my honours project for graduation. At my school, the anthropology and sociology departments are small enough that they just smoshed them together into the "department of sociology and social anthropology". Also, my school doesn't teach the other 3 pillars of anthropology, just social/cultural. So, for the honours programme, they take all the people signed up for honours that year and plunk them into a classroom, and one prof in the department gets to to sort of guide us through our projects. We don't have individual supervisors, although we are encouraged to talk with other profs in the department that are relevant to our research topic. The prof leading the honours seminar is Liesl Gambold, who is just amazing and nice and awesome and I love her to bits, if you couldn't tell.

For my honours' project, I am going to study student poverty, which I mentioned in a previous post about my experiences at CASCA, back in May. I want to look at coping/subsistence methods. I'm hoping that I will do a fantastic job on it and that some school will offer me lots of money to do my MA in anthropology, heh. Pipe dreams for the win! I am still thinking about doing Library Science, but my logic is as follows:

If a school is willing to fund my MA in anthro, I would LOVE to do it and would really have no reason not to... However.... if I am going to have to struggle to pay for grad school on my own, I would rather go do libraries, with a co-op, and get a real job as soon as possible. If I can convince people to pay me to be a student, I'd be happier than the proverbial pig in shit, but unless that's going to happen, I need to be more realistic. So, I'm going to keep my options open.

I was also taking an english class on cinematic narrative, but it was more boring than I had anticipated, as well as at 7pm in the evening on Thursdays, so I decided to drop it. Instead, I'm going to take a class called "Literature, Migration, and Citizenship" next term, which I feel like will be more up my alley as far as subject matter goes.

I recently bought an agenda and scheduled my entire life out until I'm done for the term on the 7th of December. Now... to actually go get work done... My reading for the day is on the Holocaust...

Wooden Bird

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'm a bad person... (not a real post)

My screensaver makes me giggle... it's just the text of the warcry I made up for the last D&D campaign I played...

"Eat Tit MotherFucker" scrolls back and forth across my screen whenever I idle too long...

Come on.... isn't that funny? Am I really the only one juvenile enough to be amused by that?

Anyone? No?


Wooden Bird

Monday, September 26, 2011

Animal Planet in my Bedroom

I live with a ferocious fly-hunter.

Freddie is ruthless. She can practically pick them out of the air. Not quite, yet... but I imagine she just needs to get over the last of her clumsy kitten phase and she'll have them flying away in fear. Except they won't be able to get away because she will be THAT hardcore.

Wooden Bird

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Why Being a Grown Up Is Lame

When you're my age (23) people sort of expect you to act like a grown up. This means not throwing tantrums, getting an education or a job, maintaining stable and healthy relationships with other people, paying bills on time, building credit, and all sorts of other things that tell the world you are no longer a child.

However, this sucks. Especially the tantrums and relationships part. If I could throw a tantrum about the state of my relationships right now, I would.

I'm tired of being alone, and I miss my ex. We're roommates and trying to stay friends and still spend half our time together. Many of my friends, and his friends, think this is a terrible idea and that we're crazy. My friends think I won't get over him because of this. They think that getting over him is the only way for me to move on with my life.

Well. You know... maybe getting over him would be the grown up thing to do. And maybe saying "I don't wanna" is childish and silly and I should act my age. But...

I don't wanna.

I can move on with my life, and get a job and a house and even have relationships and have a successful and pleasant life even if I don't get over him, and I'm really tired of my friends giving me that "you're just hurting yourself more" look.

I loved this man freely for nearly two years. Maybe that's not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, but it was such a complete and embedded part of who I was, that it helped shape the person I am now. And I still love him, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I care about him so much, he remains one of my best and closest friends. If he didn't care at all about me, he wouldn't be trying to maintain our friendship as well, so you know... fuck being a grown up. I don't want to be a grown up if the rational thought that accompanies it means giving up on an incredible friendship just because we used to have sex and then he broke my heart.

Yeah, it's weird when he brings a girl home, because I get jealous and wish he still wanted me, and he's totally okay with it when *I* bring a girl home, because he's not the one still hung up on our relationship, but you know what. I can deal with weird. I can deal with some emotional hardship if the big picture means I don't lose my best friend, one of the most caring and intelligent and funny people I have ever known.

I'm dating again. I've been out with a couple girls, and I don't know. Maybe I'll move in on a guy friend who is recently out of a shitty relationship, as well. Who knows. The point is, I'm moving on with my life, but I'm doing it without getting over him.

Why? Why am I so adamant about holding on to him this way? Because I want to want him still, if he ever turns to me and says "I needed this time apart, but I miss you, and I do love you, and I want to try to make this work again." In case he ever needs me and wants me again, I want to be here for him, I want to take him back and still love him with all my heart.

I don't think letting part of myself wait for him will cripple my life or my happiness. I watched my mother's miserable marriages fall apart one after the other, and I'm not going to let myself be as miserable and disappointed as she was. I'm not going to give up completely on the one truest love I've ever experienced. I think keeping ahold of it might be the most positive thing I could do, because as long as I hold on to it, it suggests that I still believe in the impossible.

I know very well that he'll probably never turn around and ask me to come back into his life in the capacity of lover and partner, but there's always a chance. I am not a psychic, I can't see the future.

I have hope, and yeah, hope isn't cynical enough to be a grown up experience these days; at least it seems that way. And so, being grown up is lame, and I refuse. I will hold on to my childish hope and live in an ignorant haze all my life, believing I could be truly and completely happy, someday.

Wooden Bird

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's closing time.....

Moving Day will soon be upon us... 13 days and 14 hours according to my countdown programme.

It's been a pretty sad process. My Love is staying with a friend for now, so we can have some space before we move back in as just roommates/friends in September. I miss him a lot; it's hard not to cry when I think about what I've lost. He's been my best friend and my family for so long now, I still don't know what I'm going to do without him. I still hold out hope, as desperate and silly as that may be, that we'll eventually get back together.

We're almost completely packed up. The two of us spent yesterday and some of today working on that.

Two of my very good friends are getting married on Saturday. I'm excited for them. It's kind of bittersweet for me, right now, but I'm really excited for them. They're an amazing couple.

That's all for now, folks.

Wooden Bird

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I've been watching a lot of Dr. Who lately...

"Some things are worth getting your heart broken for." - Sarah Jane Smith (School Reunion, Doctor Who)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

A week and a half ago, my boyfriend informed me that we were over.

It's been a hard week and a half.

Knitting has been difficult; I learned to knit so I could make him a scarf, and I think about that every time I pick up my needles. I've managed to distract myself with friends long enough to get a few things done, but it's been difficult.

We're trying to remain friends, because he still cares about me (just not like that) and I still love him (because I can't not) and we've already signed a lease with a friend, so we need to get along.

I miss him terribly. I miss us terribly. I've never felt a pain like this. It's physically tangible, not just emotional. There's a constant, hard knot in my chest that I'm starting to be able to ignore, but is always there, regardless.

Nobody ever told me a broken heart felt like this. It's the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I can't say my life has been roses; it certainly hasn't. My father's abandonment, my mother's emotional and verbal abuse, abject poverty, and eventual estrangement from my family... It's not like any of that was ever easy.

But it was never this hard. Waking up each morning and knowing my world has fallen apart, that I've lost a piece of myself, that I've lost the most important thing in my life, and that was my Love...

I want my life back. I want my boyfriend - my lover and best friend and family, all rolled into one - I want him back. I want to look at him and know he loves me, that we'll make it through anything.

I want to wake up tomorrow morning and find out this was all just a terrible dream, and everything's actually okay.

I love him. That can't change; I thought I'd be with him til the end. I can't let it go, I can't let him go.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My Foray Into Designing

I'm trying to design a cowl. Well, I mostly have already. I'm knitting it up now and hoping it looks good and is not too small or too big to be a cowl when it's done.

If it all works out, I'll post the pattern!

Wooden Bird

Friday, June 24, 2011

New Cowl and New Job!

Well, things are starting to look a little bit up in the realm of finances - I start a steady babysitting gig next week, which will bring in about 60$ a week, cash in hand, so that's going to be a BIG help in income. I know all my "shifts" ahead of time, and it's only about 6 hours a week, so it's really not a huge time commitment. The mother is pretty awesome, and the 9 year old boy I'll be babysitting seems to be a sweetheart, so I think it's going to be good times!

In knitting news, I've just listed a new cowl on Thermophile, and I think you should take a look!

Wooden Bird 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

What I've Been Up To, or, Being Poor Sucks

I'm currently knitting a little kimono-style sweater for my lover's baby niece. The pattern is from Lion Brand Yarn, and it's a little weird, but it's going to be cute, regardless!

I've got both front panels seamed on, and the sleeves are ready to be done... finished soon!

In other news, my job cut back hours, so now I'm scrambling to find a second job. I did get confirmation that I would be getting my Student Loan for next year, so that's one less thing I have to worry about. Any money I do manage to save this summer can be used for a living expenses buffer during the school year. The question is whether or not I can manage to save anything while also working towards paying down my credit card bill.

There have been a few boons recently, though. Free food in the form of gift cards and a major drop-off by my (estranged) mother, so that's helped. And I'm in the process of setting up a steady babysitting gig that would bring in an extra 60$ a week, so fingers crossed that that works out!

And finally, in further knitting news, I've been working on the radiating star blanket for my friends wedding in August...

Alpaca is so gorram soft!!!
Wish me luck, world, I'm going to need it over the next couple months...

Wooden Bird 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Selling Your Knitting (The Contentious Issue), and Bettering Yourself as a Knitter

Knitting for "profit" is an apparently contentious issue. The biggest issue that people seem to get their hackles up over is pattern rights... if it's free can someone limit the use to just "personal"? If it's not a free pattern, are you buying the rights to use the pattern for what you want, etc? How much do you have to modify something before it's original enough that you can sell the finished object guilt free?

Anyway, this post isn't about the moral economy of knitting.

What I've found useful, especially if you don't want to be paying for patterns, but want to sell your FOs, is that, well, you gotta make your own pattern. Which sounds daunting, but it doesn't have to be. It's a learning experience for sure, and your skills as a knitter will grow.

So, this is what I do. Say I want to make hats to sell. I look up a bunch of free hat patterns similar to what I want to knit. I read through them all, looking at cast-on stitches, decrease techniques, etc. I just read, read, read, til I have a good idea of the basic construction... and then I wing it. I should probably take more notes than I do, but whatever, you can do that or not. Once you have a good idea of the number of stitches that it takes to make a hat that fits, and even a basic decrease technique under your belt, you're basically in free territory.

And, like I said, it helps your skills as a knitter to grow. What you're doing when you do this is learning how to construct an object, rather than just how to follow a pattern. When you start doing that, you can start getting so much more creative with your knitting, because once you know the rules, you can bend them to your own whims.

It's a lot more work than just knitting up a free pattern and saying to hell with it and selling the FO anyway, but for me, I feel so much better being able to put something up for sale that I actually created from my own understanding of how things are constructed. I would like to consider myself some sort of textile artist, at some point in the future, and for me, this is how I can get there...

Wooden Bird

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Student Poverty (CASCA Pt 2)

So, the second big thing that I ended up coming away from CASCA with was research ideas. What I've decided to look at for my honours and subsequent master's research is student poverty.

(The irony being I'm not sure how - or if - I'll be able to pay for school next year, my graduating year, the year I'm supposed to be doing my honours research... on student poverty.)

Everybody talks about it, but I don't think all that much research has been done on how students survive... and I mean, as someone living the situation, sometimes I'm not sure how I manage to do so myself.

I think it will be a really eye-opening research project, for me at least, and I think it's got some real-world relevancy.

Here's to understanding poverty, and figuring out how to change it.

Wooden Bird

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Being a Being - Some Thoughts (CASCA, Pt. 1)

CASCA was an amazing experience, on multiple levels. I met some great people, saw some really interesting presentations, and had a couple epiphanies to light my way through my next stint of academia. I think I may separate all of that into a couple posts, however, rather than inundating you all with everything in one big heap.

So my first installment of the CASCA archives (I like the sound of that) is this idea of what we are, as people. Who Am I? Why Am I Here? Two separate conversations with different people filled this out for me.

The first was a conversation with one of the students in my lover's graduate programme. I can't remember exactly what the topic of conversation was anymore, or what exactly this fellow said that triggered this thought in my head - there was a lot of alcohol imbibed at this conference (I think this helped with a lot of the 'meeting new people' parts). But what came out of this half-remembered conversation was this idea:

We are not. By which I mean, we are not any particular state of being, but rather the process of being. The way it first formulated in my mind was "We are not anything. We are what we have been, and what we will be." After some more conversation and thought and contemplation over the course of the three days, I reformulated it as "We are becoming." So, the answer to that question, "Who Am I?" seems to be to be "I am everything I have been, and everything I will be, and the ways I engage with my relationships, and interpret myself in the context of my world... That is who I am."

A dynamic, changing, complex, and fleeting being, which itself is a verb - a word of action, not a statement of existence the way a noun is. We are much more than a thing that exists. We are change and growth and experience and a million moving parts constantly reevaluating their place in the universe. It's mind blowing in a way. It astounds me and makes me value all my experiences because it's not that they made me, but they are me.

So, let that roll around in your brain a bit... but, wait! There's more!

The other question... "Why Am I Here?"

The Big Three religions have an answer for you. God's Will. I think that pretty much covers it. But the rest of it have to find meaning on our own; we don't get a vaguely articulated document, poorly translated and even more poorly interpreted, to tell us what we're doing here.

This is something that I've thought about a lot previously, but a conversation at CASCA with another student from the same grad programme as the previous bloke brought it out of me in a more articulated fashion than I'd previously attempted.

I've been slowly working my way through "Living With Honour: A Pagan Ethics" by Emma Restall Orr for a while now, and something she says at one point or more, is that people aren't special. There's nothing significant about us that makes us better or more worthy than any other thing on this planet, "living" or not.

So, this is a thought I've been rolling around my noggin for a while, and I think about it a lot, and what that means for our place, and where we stand, and how to integrate this into my udnerstanding of purpose and meaning.

Well, this conversation I had, once again, I can't remember exactly how it started, but I put this idea out here, mentioning Restall Orr's comment, and then I further articulated my own expansion on the idea.

We aren't special, inherently. There is no purpose for us to be here, other than that we are simply all cogs in the universal machine. We play a role the same way the wind does and the ants do and everything else does. We act and interact and react. And so, we have to create meaning, for ourselves. The only way we can do that, really, is through our relationships, with other people, with other beings, with our environment. We have to make our lives meaningful by making our experiences and our relationships meaningful. By respecting their place in the creation of our being, because without them we simply wouldn't be.

It's our relationships and our experiences that make us who we are, as I said previously, and so we have to make them meaningful. That is the purpose of our life. To create meaning in it.

In sum, my mind has been blown. If you couldn't tell, haha.

Wooden Bird

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Socks and Anthropology

I leave in about 45 minutes for the Canadian Anthropology Association's annual conference. A few of my profs are presenting, and I'm really looking forward to the experience! Three days in New Brunswick to schmooze with anthros? What could be more exciting?

I'll tell you - my first sock!

Sock it to me!    

I'm planning to knit its sister-sock while in New Brunswick, so expect a pair when I get back! I'm so proud of myself over this thing. And I love the colours of the striping! And it's so cozy holy smokes!

Now, I'm off for New Brunswick!

Wooden Bird

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I Am So Sick of Rain!!!

Really, I miss the sun. Go away rain! Yuck.

Going to go meet someone for coffee in about an hour, and the rain is going to make the walk really gross. Yuck.

Started my first pair of socks! Not yuck.

Anthropology conference next week! Excited. Wee!

I have a couple of things to list on Etsy, but need some sun to come out so I can photograph them! Jeez, sun, you're ruining my business!

Started spinning the Jacob - I think it'd make a really nice hat when I'm done with it? We'll see if there's enough.

And, in uber-yuck news: the election results have pretty much trampled my spirits. I'm sad for my country and scared for what Harper has in store for us. Some dark days ahead, friends. Some very dark days are ahead.

Wooden Bird

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Importance of Being Earnest...

I started re-reading A Witch Alone last night, and... I'm way past it. I've been a pagan, alternating between practicing and non-practicing, since I was 13. While this book might have been really helpful for me about five years ago, I'm beyond it at this point. It feels really remedial reading it, and I've developed my personal philosophies around paganism beyond what Marian Green is teaching in this book. I already have a pretty deep and thorough understanding of what it means to be pagan, for me, and to be honest, I'm finding her a little fluffy. So, I'm going to try using another set of books I have to get back into the practice - "Green Witchcraft" by Moura. I have all three, and from what I recall, they are a little more up my alley. I guess the Marian Green book is up for grabs. I am going to see if any of my friends want it.

I've rebooted my SparkPeople account. I need to get my butt in gear, quite literally. I even did the fitness routine today. My arms are sore. I have pretty much no upper body strength, so that is something I'd like to build up. Pairing some strength training with yoga will be useful, I think.

I got a good start on the day! Got out of bed around nine-ish, got breakfast and some tasks done (all paid up and registered for the anthropology conference, for instance), and I still have two and a half hours before I have to be at work. Nice!

Wooden Bird

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Moving Day

One of my roommates moved out today, to head back home to Vancouver. I'm going to miss him! He's a really nice guy, and I enjoyed living with him. My boyfriend and I stayed the night at our friend's place in order to give him and hsi girlfriend the place to themselves for their last night together. She'll be staying here to work and finish school, and he'll be back at Christmas.

In related news, the same roommate bought a hat I knit last week! I knit it up one morning, and it was a lot of fun to make. I held some contrasting colours I had and wanted to use up double, and knit until one or the other ran out and then added another colour to keep it doubled. It went from a red/orange, to a red/green, to a green/yellow. Pretty intense! I knit it flat because I didn't have DPNs big enough for what I wanted. I learned how to make a tassle and added a green tassle to the top. When I was done, I showed it to my roommate, and mentioned I was going to put it up on Etsy to sell, and he said he liked it a lot and wanted to buy it instead, so there you go! Cash in hand, I fulfilled one of my 2011 goals (to sell something I made), and I was able to help pay for groceries this week! Woooo. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture before he left for the airport.

In other news, it looks like I'll be making it to this years Canadian Anthropology Association Conference, in New Brunswick. I asked for the time off work, and I'm hoping they don't mess with me on this. I told them it was school related, so hopefully they'll respect that. I'll be going along with my boyfriend and a bunch of his colleagues from the graduate programme. I'm excited - I think it be a good experience, and I'm hoping to take in some presentations and learn lots and maybe schmooze with some potential grad advisors. I graduate next year, and I need to start thinking about grad schools.

I took out a couple of books from the library as well - some "light" summer reading, to prep me up for my honours research next year. One is an introductory reader on economic anthropology, and one is a reader on moral economies. I also found one on fair trade coffee that should prove to be interesting. I'm not sure how deeply I'll read the two more textbook-like ones, but I figure even if I only do a little but of prep work, that's better than not doing any prep work. I don't have any delusions of actually getting any research done this summer, but giving myself a heads up on the theories I'm going to be using or coming up against in my research would be handy, I think.

I've also been working on getting my desk area better organized. I threw out a bunch of stuff I just don't need, and I'm working out a better organization system. I need to be more organized and less messy. It's not productive for anybody who has to work in the space. It already feels less claustrophobic, and all I've done is, like I said, throw out a bunch of crap.

My goal currently is to mionimize, organize, and spiritualize. I want to get back into a regular spiritual practice. I've let it slip to the wayside, and it's not good for my well-being. I've kept my little Kwan Yin up, but I never pay attention to her. I don't meditate anymore, and I barely pay attention to the sabbats. Beltaine is coming up, and I want to at least take a little me time in the evening to recognize it and what it represents, and to reconnect with Kwan Yin. I have this book that I bought years ago, called A Witch Alone, by Marian Green, and I think it would be beneficial for me to work through it again. It's basically a guided practice to get you on a neo-pagan path, and I could use the structure of it. Unfortunately, I just don't have the space for an altar but I think I might put together something of a portable one that I can stow away and then take out for meditation and other such things.

Relatedly, I've also started doing yoga with my boyfriend, and I was trying out Tai Chi the other day, as well.

So, I've got a lot on the docket, I guess, but I don't think it's really all that much, as long as I approach each day with a positive attitude, stop spending so much time watching TV, and get myself on a more normal sleep schedule.

Life! It's happening!

Wooden Bird

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Oi my aching toesies

I've been working pretty steadily lately, which is great for my bank account, but not so much for my feet. I don't have great shoes for a job that entails standing in one spot for six or eight hours, but they're my only black pair, and that's the uniform. I keep saying that when I have the money to spend, I'll get a more comfortable pair of runners or something, but if I am going to be realistic, I simply cannot afford to spend that money any time soon.

However, tomorrow is Good Friday, and so my store is closed and I get to rest these aching toesies. Woo!

To those who celebrate it, have a happy Easter, and to those that don't, enjoy the long weekend. To those who have to work part or all of it, I'm sorry. :-( I have to work Saturday, unfortunately.

Wooden Bird

Friday, April 8, 2011

Why I'm Not a Feminist

The professor of my gender class asked us if we consider ourselves to be feminist or not. This was my response:

For me, I'm of the mind that the words "feminism" and "feminist" are implicitly exclusive, the same way "he" as a universal pronoun is. I support many, if not most, feminist causes, and a lot of my ideals and opinions could probably be called "feminist", but I really don't feel comfortable with that label.

I think this article has a lot of good points, although some I don't agree with, completely. (For instance, I do think that class, race, gender, disability, religion, national origins, environmental degradation, etc., are becoming feminist issues, but probably due to people like this person in particular. I do, however, agree that it can be a movement that uses people for its advantage.)

It's less about the movement and more about the label, for me. I've never been a strong linguistic determinist, but I do think the way we talk about things has some effect on how we think about them. And I think we're at a point academically and socially where we can start talking about human equality as human equality, and stop draping it in the clothing of a decades old movement. We needed the feminist movement, I will never deny that. Without it, our world would obviously be very different. But we need something new, now. We need an equality movement that's called just that. Because there are people who aren't women who deserve it, and there are women who feel used by feminism who need it. And because "feminine" means so many different things that I don't think it's appropriate to use terminology so vague when discussing issues as important as human rights.

By calling it feminism, it leaves the mission up for interpretation. Anyone who has a dissenting idea about what the "femi-" prefix implies can argue that it's something different, and that some people don't need or deserve the help of the movement.

"Human Rights" on the other hand, I think is a lot less open to debate. It's a lot harder - in the contemporary west, at any rate - that a person is not a human, and therefor do not deserve the benefits of a rights movement. And so, it's inherently more inclusive. Within a greater "Human Rights" movement, you can have your camps of "Women's Rights" and "Children's Rights" and "Transgender Rights" and "Men's Rights" but they become facets of the same goal - equality for human beings - rather than movement pitted against movement, syncing up when the goals jive, but otherwise vying for the same resources. By talking about Human Rights instead of Feminism, I think it creates a greater solidarity than you can get otherwise.

So, that's why I still don't consider myself a feminist.

Monday, April 4, 2011

More yarn!

I listed the new yarn on Etsy! It looks great, and I got some really good photographs of it.

My boyfriend came up with the name, "Black Cherry", and I think it suits it great!

I've started spinning a merino/seacell blend that is so goddamn smooth and it's turning out soooo fine. I think I might keep the yarn from that one, and turn it into a lace cowl or something.

Wooden Bird

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Spinning Milestones!

I am so proud of myself! I just finished plying the bunch of purple fibre that my roommates gave me for Christmas. This was with the orange stuff they gave me that I turned into Creamsicle. Well, I did much better with this purple stuff!

190 yards! Holy cow! No wonder the plying felt like it took forever! I'll post pictures and list it on Etsy as soon as the sun comes out and I can get a good shot.


Wooden Bird

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hot Water Sweetie!

I'm starting to feel like a human being again. My throat is super sore after being torn apart by this cough, and my stomach and abs are sore from the constant tensing of the muscles while I cough, but my fever has gone and I am regaining coherence.

And my sweetie bought be a hot water bottle to make me feel better, and it's been awesome. On my back, on my tummy, on my shoulders. This thing is awesome. And my Love is awesome for obtaining it for me!

Folks, on of the cheapest ways to make your partner happy: buy them a 6$ water bottle. :-)

Wooden Bird

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Cough Cough Cough, While I Write This Post

I have been so sick in the last while; it sucks.

I was sick just after Reading Week, and just as I was starting to get better, I got this chest-cold thing tht my roommate had. So now I spend all my time coughing my lungs out and listening to my chest rattle away. It's the kind of cough that won't shake loose any of the fluids, either, but I can tell they're there. It's making me pretty miserable.

But, on the bright side, we finished watching Season 1 of Stargate: Atlantic last night. I love that show, and I haven't watched it in ages. It's so campy and fun, though. And everyone's so cute and pretty on it. Lots of eye candy! In the next couple days, we'll probably finish Season 2 of Buffy, as well, so I'm looking forward to that! My Sweetie hasn't seen either of these shows before, so it's fun to expose him to my geekery, haha.

I'm working on a purpley spinning project that I'm trying to come up with a name for... Grape? Vino? Purple-Durple? I'm attempting a sort of fractal thing with it. Since it wasn't one large strip of fibre with a dyed repeat, I'm forcing a repeat into it. I recieved it as a bag with three colours of fiber in it, in 1 ounce lumps. So, I divided each lump more or less equally in half (I have no scale), and set them apart from each other for each ply. For the one ply, I tore each colour into two strips, so I'd have two longish repeats of dark purple, fuschia, pinkish. For the other ply, I separated them into four strips, so I'd have twice as many repeats of the same sequence. I'm hoping this will have a fractal effect, but as I've never tried fractal spinning before, I'm not sure how it will go! Pictures when I have them!

Now I need to write a presentation that I have to cough through later today. Bleh.

Wooden Bird

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Best Night (If a Short Night) and Milk Woes

So, last September, one of my two closest friends in the world (my Sweetie notwithstanding) moved to England, for the fun of it. I actually didn't get a chance to see her either, before she left. My Love and I had been in Ontario for two weeks at the end of August/beginning of September, so I hadn't seen her since mid-August.

She got back to Canada last week, and last night was the first time I've seen her in six months! There was a lot of crying. We were planning to go out dancing, but my Sweetie and and I called it an early night - I have almost no money, he wasn't feeling well, I had to work today and didn't want to be super tired and hungover, and I have a lot of homework (that I'm not doing, oops), so it was probably for the best.

But it was awesome to see her! I missed her so much. A lot of the time, it feels like we share a brain, and while she was gone, our group of friends was all really busy and nobody's schedules worked out ever, so I didn't spend a lot of time with any of my other friends. So it's kind of been a lonely 6 months. So it was awesome to see her and spend the time with her and I missed her so much. Which I already said, but it really can't be emphasized enough.

We also got a chance to meet for the first time our friend's boyfriend - who turns out to be in one of my classes! So now I can put a face to the anecdotes he gives in class about him and his girlfriend - because his girlfriend has been a friend of mine since second year, go figure.

School is over in a few weeks, and I have a tonne of work to do in the meantime, and I need to get my ass in gear about it, but then it will be done and I can relax. I just need to get a fire lit under my butt and get shit done, and that's the hard part. I redid my calendar with adjusted due dates and timelines, and it actually doesn't look as scary as it did before, so, that's good! But it means I run the risk of not doing the work I need to do. Of course.

In the next week, I have a presentation, a comparative book review, and a critical analysis of a social theory all due, two on the same day. I also work today and tomorrow, so I have to get the stuff done when I can.

I also need to buy milk, because apparently, we went thorugh a 4 litre jug of milk in three days. WTF? When my Love and I get our own place, it's going to be weird to adjust to the extended period of time that things like milk and cheese last us. Milk and cheese are kind of communal foods in our apartment. There are six of us, and it would be ridiculous for there to be four or five jugs of milk in the fridge, so we generally just accept that somebody will buy it when it's out, and sometimes it's you and sometimes it's me, and in the end it all works out, more or less. But yeah, when it's just him and me, it's going to be weird to have a jug of milk last two weeks. I should make a note to buy the jugs with the longest due date, at least until we get a feel for how much milk we actually use - which I don't think is a whole lot. He's the only one who drinks it as a beverage, usually (unless there are cookies involved, then I'll join in) and he only does that once in a while, when he gets a real craving for it. And we don't eat cold cereal. We splash a little milk in our oatmeal to moisten it and cool it a bit. Coffee is pretty much what we use it for. It will be interesting to see, anyway.

Anyway, this is probably not a very interesting post for most people, so I'll stop rambling about milk...

Wooden Bird